Have you ever felt pain when remembering an event, or an environment from your childhood memory?
Do you ever feel angry, fearful or sad when recalling a person or people who impacted your childhood deeply?
Researches show that we each have our own records and we have all been influenced by our surroundings, experiences and the important people around us when we were young. Our inner child has stored those memories and they have impacts upon us.
What does ‘wounded child’ mean?
“Wounded child” is an archetype which involves negative emotional behaviour of your childhood. You have a blocked or damaged archetypal model when you allow your wounded child to control your life. You will then find yourself drawing the same repeated patterns of adverse events in your adult life. You also know if you have it when you find yourself regularly retelling your story to others about the pain and trauma you experienced as a child. Your mind is like a tape recorder which keeps playing the same story over and over again.
Your inner child represents your first real self that entered this world; it contains your capacity to experience wonder, happiness, honesty, sympathy, and playfulness. However, we live in a society that forces us to repress our inner child to “grow up.” However, the truth is that while most adults are physically “grown -ups,” they haven’t yet reached maturity or adulthood i.e., most “grown-ups” aren’t really adults at all. They still have childish attitudes, lack of mature communications, improper actions, fears, anger, traumas and doing things wrong, etc. that fester away in the unconscious mind for years.
Working with your inner child is a significant step toward recovery and healing yourself from a painful childhood. Emotional pain as a consequence of your father, mother, sisters, brothers, grandparents, teachers or other people putting you down and maltreating you can affect your subconscious mind. As a young child, you couldn’t protect yourself and affirm your needs.
If you have felt molested physically, sexually, emotionally, or mentally, it’s possible that a part of you felt anger, terror, powerlessness, and a sense of betrayal and vulnerability. As a young child, you could not and did not know how to process and deal with your own strong emotions. As a result, they lingered deep within your inner mind from the time you experienced the feelings.
Some people define the wounded child as a subpersonality or another perspective of yourself. Of course, you looked as an grown up outside; however, there is a part of your thoughts that are still caught up in the emotion and turmoil and pain of your childhood. Through this compelling work, the inner child or wounded child will drive the ship of your life subconsciously. To this point, I believe that you would agree with me why there are a lot of grownups got broken and unsuccessful lives, even they really want the best lives for themselves consciously.
When we doubt and recall the voice of the child within, we incorporate heavy emotional weight. This untapped and unresolved baggage causes us to experience problems such as mental illnesses, physical ailments, and relationship dysfunctions. Moreover, it can be said that the lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is one of the main reasons for having a lot of problems we see in today’s world in different people from all walks of life and in all cultures. From the cruel way we treat the environment, to the cruel way we talk to ourselves and treat people around us, we have become totally separated from our original and authentic innocence.
I have had a privilege to work with thousands of people throughout my life as an educator and have healed hundreds of clients as a wellness practitioner with their life’s problems including depression, anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, not feeling enough in relationships etc. I have been so fascinated with the common problem that has sabotaged each of my clients’ lives was childhood wounds. An unhealthy wounded childhood has expanded to a broken adult! The trick is from the outside, my client looks like a successful person, but he or she never feels happy. To this point, I remember two famous men of the world, Michael Jackson and William Robin. They both ended their lives with tragic attempts. Michael Jackson got an overdose, and William Robin killed himself. In the article entitled ‘The Mystery of Robin Williams- Michael Jackson’: King of Pain, we learn they both had struggles in their childhood and this affected their adult lives despite they both got immense fame and money!
I am also a victim of a wounded childhood with a broken family, a child who was abused, and a disadvantaged victim of Vietnam war, but luckily, I set myself free from them and have claimed a best and abundant life that I desire, and I want to help you too. You will be healed and able to rebuild your life despite your unwanted past. You deserve a best life possible!
To fix the inner child’s problems, we first must develop and train our mindfulness, so we can wake up to the truth of our sufferings which we would rather avoid.
In conclusion, to move from the shadow to the light, the Wounded Child needs to be healed and develop resilience for a happy life. Our inner world is sensitive, kind, vulnerable and smart. Our life experience taught us that the pains that once dominated our life could be taken away to leave room for our kindness, our insight, depth, and wisdom flourish.
TO BE CONTINUED…
NEXT: WOUNDED CHILD- BROKEN ADULT
Part 2 – 7 ways to heal the inner child for being a happy adult
Ha-Le Thai is an Amazon multiple bestselling author, international speaker, coach in parenting, health and wellness. Her work has appeared in WMAG, She society, 9 Honey, Female.com.au and many more. Ha-Le is living in Sydney, Australia.